Monday, October 12, 2009

New Friend

So yesterday when I went to this Girlfriend's Meetup, there were about 14 women there. All shapes, sizes, ages, and whatever. I have always been fascinated by the whole sociology/psychology of things and I am particularly interested in the dynamics of groups.

We all meet in the middle of the mall. Myself and one other woman are the only two new to the group, right. Everyone is introducing themselves to each other, making small talk, blah blah blah.

One woman obviously seems to be the one in charge, the coordinator. I have a sense for her right away...not a good one either. There is a tall dark haired young woman, very pretty, very quiet. Another woman introduces herself as the other coordinator...seems nice enough. Hear a woman across the circle talking about having furniture delivered and how her husband wasn't to be trusted to take the delivery. In one ear out the other.

More blah blah blah. But then I become engaged in a conversation with a gal across the circle so I move over to her. For some reason, I end up telling this woman the dirty details of my life in the first five minutes I have known her. Oh my god I have pulled a Jeanne Ashby! (sorry folks you could not know this reference but trust me it is not a good one).

I apologize and tell her I don't usually dump my trash on perfect strangers. She is gracious, probably thinks I am a lunatic and can't wait to get away from me. But she doesn't. We walk into the theater together. Sit in the movie together. Sit at lunch together.

And here is the funny thing. During lunch, I am asked about my family from someone across the table. I explain my marriage is in flux. The woman across from me tells me she is recently divorced. Goes on about her cheating husband. Ugly details. This is after I say I don't think anything but death is insurmountable. Apparently she and my husband have something in common.

I lean over to my new friend and say, "Glad I didn't vomit my personal trash in her lap." She just smiled and said, "I was thinking the same thing." And we made a date for next weekend.

So here's the thing. Why out all those women standing there, did I choose her? Why didn't I tell the divorced woman? I was standing next to her for quite some time. What was it about my new friend that made me think ( I don't think I was thinking) it would be alright to tell her some of the most private intimate details of my life? Things that most people are so judgemental about they cast you aside and never give you another glance because you are tainted.

I have never been religious or one of faith. In fact, I am self proclaimed atheist. But I am beginning to wonder if there isn't something going on here. I am beginning to think that there is someone out there controlling the chess pieces on my board, because strange things are happening. Things I can't explain.

I think I hear the theme from the Twilight Zone playing in the distance.

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