Monday, October 12, 2009

He Asked...

Me why. Why would I even want to stay married to him. I think it was when I had my finger pointing in his face telling him to put his 'man panties' on and 'man up'. God how awful that looks in print. It was during the fracas that went on yesterday. Emotions were high...dignity was nonexistent. We were being so unkind to each other. It was ugly and raw.

Even then though, I told him, because I loved him and wanted him and believed in him. Did he hear me? I doubt it. I have become such a nag. No one beats a dead horse better than me. He is tired of listening to me. Defensive, angry, hurt. Anything I say becomes a fight. Thus the agreement to take the month break.

If I could tell the world what kind of man he is, oh I can! That's the cool thing about blogs isn't it. It is there for the world to see!. Now don't get me wrong, he is not perfect! I am sure you get that from the other things I have written. But why, you might ask, why if I have done the things I have done and he has done what he has done, do I not just cut my loses and let him walk away.

As bad as things have been, (and they have been BAD) he was always the person I wanted to grow old with. Never pictured my life without him. He is kind hearted, compassionate. He tolerates my love of animals and in fact is nearly as stupid about them as I am. No one else would tolerate chickens and pigs in the house.

He is funny. His sense of humor equals no other. In our early years when we were fighting, he would wiggle his nostrils at me and make me laugh. The fight was over instantly. He hasn't done that in years.

We have created a beautiful family together. Instilled values and ethics into our children. Without him this never would have happened. He is a wonderful father. A loving gentle man who's children adore him.

We have always agreed about most everything...rarely fighting about fiances, household issues, children, vacations.

He would do anything for me. He wipes my but when I can't. Holds my head when I vomit. He has been a good husband, father and provider. He is a good friend. He loved my family (not always easy).

These are just some of the reasons I want to stayed married to him. The most important reason of all though is:

I love him with all my heart and soul. It was always him....always him.

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