Wednesday, September 30, 2009

When Anger Creeps in

Today I am angry. Mad at the situation. Mad that I am here holding the bag of responsibility. Shame on me...I have been a bad girl. Just ask anybody. Broke one of those commandments I did...burning in Hell forever. No redemption for me. I deserve what I get. The pain, the agony, the hurt, the loneliness. It is my punishment. Accept it with dignity and grace for I deserve it. Right?

But what about him? What about what he did? Is there a Hell for him? Is there a Hell for someone who just sits there while he is begged for years to address the issues? Begged, pleaded with, cried and screamed at to please help change what is wrong. Begged to not sit passively by and watch us die. Hell for him. He has already suffered his Hell. Just ask anybody. His Hell was me. His hurt was enduring me and what I did. He already has his redemption. He can quit and walk away with grace and dignity. Right?

Fuck that!

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