Sunday, September 27, 2009


Therapy is seems will include homework. The first assignment was to think about a time in my life when I was happy. Well that shouldn't be too difficult now should it?

So I took pencil to paper and was frozen. When was I happy? I couldn't wrap my brain around a single long period of total happiness in my life. So this is what I ended up with:

Picking out a happy time in life - difficult at best. Times of prolonged happiness? In my childhood? I don't remember. Snippets maybe. But even that is foggy for it seems Michael over-shadowed it all.

Teens-got nothing there!

Marriage? Tumultuous beginning. Children came quickly-lots of work! Again moments of joy - snippets of happiness - nothing prolonged. The early years and the raising of kids were work. I did it all. The responsibility was overwhelming at times and I was often not kind, patient or nice to those around me. I have many regrets when it comes to raising my happiness there? Not so much.

I guess there has never been prolonged happiness. When I try to think about it my mind goes to places my husband and I have been together alone and away - the beach in Traverse City, Crisp Point Lighthouse, Kayaking the Green River. Always ALONE and AWAY from here.

So this is where I ended up. Alone and away with him. I shared this with him. His response..."So you like vacations." God is it any wonder we are where we are.

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